The Drumbeat

The drumbeat of "The holidays" is coming earlier and earlier every year, it seems.  While it used to be that Thanksgiving marked the start of the holiday season, it now seems to start after Halloween - or even before in some locales.  The constant barrage of advertisements, Christmas music, lights and fake snow can take a toll on our psyche - are the holidays even special anymore?  We have to work harder and harder to MAKE them special, and to remember that "it is enough" when we start thinking that we have to do more, eat more, drink more, party more, buy more.  Whether you are inundated with family, have dysfunctional family, or maybe you have no one at all, it isn't too early to start planning and preparing for the annual onslaught!

1. Practice your own self-care - when preparing for take-off, flight attendants will ALWAYS instruct you to "put your own oxygen mask on, prior to helping others."  Nothing is more true when it comes to holiday preparation.  Get enough sleep.  Eat well.  Drink plenty of water.  Do whatever YOU do to take care of yourself so that you have the energy reserves full when you need them.
2. Say No.  If you don't want to go to that party?  Say no.  If you don't want Aunt Suzie to bring her 4 dogs to the annual gathering?  Say no.  If you don't want to buy the "must have" toy for your kids?  Say NO.  It's a simple word, and one that we sometimes avoid for fear of upsetting someone.  But saying yes doesn't always solve the problem and, quite frankly, causes resentment to build which leads to anger, which leads to more stress, which leads us to do or say things that we might wish we hadn't.  So, take charge and say no if you can! 
3. Say Yes.  This guy's nuts...didn't he just tell us to say NO?  I'm so confused!  Well, yes, I did just say to say "no".   But I'd also invite you to say yes once in awhile if it doesn't hurt you or others around you.  Maybe take the pressure off yourself to "perform" and just enjoy.  Go to the party!  Laugh with your friends/co-workers!  Aunt Suzie will be so grateful that she doesn't have to kennel the pups and, really?  Dog hair isn't the end of the world.  In other words, try not to sweat the small stuff and remember that everything is small stuff in the end. 
4. Plan ahead.  Know what you've got coming up and don't overbook yourself.  Build in time for reflection and downtime during this busy season.  Think about what the season means to you (if anything!) and stop to think about that. 
5. Remember that not everyone has that Norman Rockwell family.  Oh, wait....NONE OF US DO!  Seriously, no matter how bad your situation is, you are not alone.  There is someone, somewhere that can empathize, sympathize or maybe show you that things are not horrible. 
6. Every day is only 24 hours long.  No matter your situation, good, bad or indifferent, remember that every day only lasts 24 hours.  Each day will be different in one way or another.  So today might be hard, but tomorrow might be better.  Keep your hope alive, no matter what is going on. 
7. Most important of all?  Go out of your way to help others this holiday season.  Be kind.  Volunteer.  Create opportunities for others to volunteer.  Give to your favorite charity.  Give of yourself to a local nursing home or hospice or pet shelter.  Giving yourself to others nurtures others and helps you at the same time!

At the end of the day?  We can only control how we respond to each day.  We can't control what others do or say and we certainly can't control events in the world.  But we CAN decide that we are going to face each day with grace, dignity and just a bit of a sense of humor to keep things in perspective.  May you find peace in this tumultuous season! 

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